Eloi Cole, an oddly dressed young man arrested at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland, made bizarre claims that he was from the future. Cole claimed that he had traveled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world. The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this month, a milestone Mr [...]
April 5, 2010
LEXINGTON, Ky. — Drunk in a bar and can’t get out, who you gonna call? Police. That’s what Todd Fitzwater did in Lexington. WLEX-TV reported Fitzwater called 911 Thursday and said he’d gotten drunk and passed out at Todd’s Karaoke Bar the night before, awakened and had a few more — then couldn’t get out [...]
April 5, 2010
FOUNTAIN HILL, Pa. — Police in eastern Pennsylvania said two men tried to rob and carjack a pizza delivery driver but were defeated by the vehicle’s standard transmission. Fountain Hill police said the Domino’s Pizza driver had stopped at a red light early Friday when a man ran up to the vehicle from the rear [...]
February 13, 2010
LONDON — Hundreds of British men are risking a Valentine’s Day anticlimax for their partners by stocking up on anatomy-boosting underpants ahead of the most romantic weekend of the year. British department store group Debenhams said Thursday it had seen a 76 percent surge in online sales of the 18 pounds-a-pair ($28) underwear in the [...]
February 10, 2010
Despite having served for years as a distinguished Pakistani diplomat, Akbar Zeb reportedly cannot receive accreditation as Pakistan’s ambassador to Saudi Arabia. The reason, apparently, has nothing to do with his credentials, and everything to do with his name — which, in Arabic, translates to “biggest dick.” According to this Arabic-language article in the Arab [...]
January 21, 2010
Dear Pat Robertson, I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it [...]
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April 15, 2010
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